the dirty trees

2006-10-02T10:45:00.000-07:00

The new season has started and after week #2 we are in 2nd place in our Sub-Division of the Monday Night B-League.

B 3	CW		STD
Bailey's Total Fitness	11		25
The Dirty Trees	10		23
The Nomads	10		19
Coasters	8		17
The Redarts	7		16
Big East Brotherhood	9	B	13
Who's Next?	8		13

So far we've won both week's 1 & 2 and hope to do so again in week #3 which after today's Yom Kipur skip will take place next Monday, October 9th. We will be playing the 3rd Place Nomads from the Gaf East. Always a good bar to play out of.

So far everyone we've met in the B League has been great. Everyone is out for a good time.

And Kudos to the the Coasters of Bar Coastal they were great hosts and their home bar had Great Buffalo Wings.

I wonder if they'd be kind enough to bring some up when they play us at Biddy's on November 20th.

2006-09-03T16:02:00.000-07:00

Evidently, loving Tony Roman does not go unoticed. And for that we have nothing but respect.

2006-09-03T15:32:00.000-07:00

Ladies and Gentlemen......

Our new captain.

This photo was made possible by our new captain, Mr. Jack Prilook. He is proud to say he both shot the R9 as well as take the picture to prove it. Which also means that we Trees will be expecting this caliber of play for him from the next 14 weeks. No pressure Jack!

2006-08-09T15:24:00.001-07:00

And then there were TREE

Not too much time has been devoted to the week to week goings ons of the dirty trees, but it seems appropriate to take some time for our season end. We are proud to report that were able to maintain our first place standings in our subdivision until the end, winning Monday night C1. We also faired well throughout the playoffs...and then the TREES started to sway...and sway and the three of them fell down (or went away).

The timing could not have been worse to have 3 of our great players out of town. Here we were, after a long season and nearly 2 weeks of playoff victories; in the finals and short players. 3 of us remained in the tri-state area during those two Finals games and with the other team anxious to play we did what we had to do - we sucked it up and played the final games short a person. We knew this would leave us with many forfeited and "Canadian" games, we knew it would be difficult. We had our good moments and our bad ones leading up to that first night, but by the time monday rolled around the general MO was "Maybe we can do this...and if we cant we can at least drink and have fun"...

Monday Night:
I arrived shortly after the start of the match. Needless to say, things could have been going a little smoother at that point. We had made a bold choice to forfeit our first game in the hopes that this would take their best player out of the singles. Turns out we were correct and their strongest could only bow his head and offer a "TOUCHE" to us for the move. I say things could have been going smoother due to some misunderstanding with the other captain about the ligitamacey of that move as well as some other doubts about the playoff rules. It is still our official position to note that said other team challenged the order of play (home starting first, instead of the usual away/home format) during a Canadian match and after it was determined this order of play actually benefitted them. It is also our official position to see this as rather silly. That being said....In our determination to have fun despite all odds we tried to quickly settle the situation and continue the night. Jack, our Bastion, our lighthouse, our......um....our really good player had taken his first two games quite elegantly and now Joe was preparing for singles 01 (a game he has not had the fortune to play much during league) But Joe, aware of his inexperience was smart and realized that if he was going to have to ask the Dart Gods to be on his side he would need the help of the Rock Gods first. He realized at a time like this only Eddie Vedder would help. So I raced to the juke box and furiously searched for Eddie and his Grungey friends. And then.....it happenned - the Gods of Rock and those of Darts came together (for at least 15 minutes) and gave Joe the courage and strength to take his two wins. Then I think they all went somewhere to grab a beer cause i split my games and there was no Bonno, no Eddie, no Kurt to help me out. After that we fought back the best we could. We were able to walk away with 7 wins and only 2 points behind after that night. That in itself was a small victory for us. We were able to play well, enjoy the night and earn the respect of our opponents as they watched us try to pull off a very difficult task. I would also like to note that we had some wonderful support by the Dirty Tree fans who found the time to equally cheer us on and give the other team a hard for playing us short. So after some Jameson shots and strategy talk for the wednesday game plan, the remaining trees went home and started to focus on the task at hand: getting at least three of us to the match on wednesday.

Wednesday night:
We could call this night: "And then there was one...and then two...and finally three". Jack, A.K.A Old Faithful by now, was certain that he would make roll call for the game, and i knew i would be there, but late. But Joe was in another state. And after his inspirational wins two nights before he was determined to make it back for the final game. Evidently the championship game for monday night C league is NOT something that justifies a police escort, but Joe is crafty and likes to drive fast so we were pretty confident he would find a way. And he did. Spirits were high for us. Win or loose we did the best we could and again we were determined to have a good time. Although the bar we were at seemed somewhat determined to rain on our parade. Despite sever crowding due to an all you can drink special and a few scuffles we tried to keep the mood as light as possible and go down with the ship. (someone who shall remain nameless has asked me to elaborate on the "scuffles" so).... By scuffles we mean a full on fight which found it ways from a top the bar to across the line, then into the bathroom for a 2 minute break and then back across the line. It was real classy stuff. And put me in a great mood to start my play after that. All that "eventfullness" aside, we have to say the wins in singles just were not there. I personally believe it had to do with the bar hijacking the juke box and relying on Bar Ipod, or Barpod as we can call it, for the night. (there was no carly simon incident, but i think it did hurt our spirits a little) At the end of singles we had 2 points. We would have to win EVERY game to win it and that would include those Canadian games. We did manage to take the first two cricket games, but it was in vein. The next two games were a match up between myself and two strong shooters from the opposing team. I took my first loss and prepared for the last game by asking my new sworn enemies if they were ready to finish beating up on a poor innocent girl in Canadian Cricket. They said "yes", they were ready and it did leave a mark. Our season was over. Our oppsosition congratulated us on taking them on and playing as hard as we could against them and we congratulated them for their win. Then, filled to the brim with good sportsmanship, we asked them if they minded putting an asterick next to their team name on the trophy.
It was a disapointing end to the season, but we did the best we could to have fun and at least that worked out for us. At least we still have good ole Jameson on our side. Next season the Trees the will be in B league and we are ready to take on the new challenge.

2006-08-08T16:55:00.000-07:00

The Trees officially love:

Let us count the ways.

...

2006-07-10T08:15:00.000-07:00

LOOK! Its a dirty tree. really

2006-06-28T17:46:00.000-07:00

And so they called us . . . "THE DIRTY TREES"

I believe it would be safe to say that each member of this team has been obliged to explain the origin of our team name on many an occassion. The story is a short one involving a man from Kansas and one from Ireland having a break down in communication while discussing a score for a 501 game..... but Im sure many of you have heard that one.

Our captain, who is HEAVILY involved in the world of "email forwards" came accross one particular forward which is valid enough to justify his relentless clicking of "forward all" (at least for a little longer)

So without further adieu -

Irish Maths Test

An Irishman applied for a job on a contruction site, but the foreman wouldn't hire him until he passed a simple maths test.
Here is your first question, the foreman said. "Without using numbers, represent the number 9."
"Without numbers?" The Irishman says, "Dat is easy," and proceeded to draw three trees.

"What's this?" the boss asked.
"Ave you got no brain? Tree and tree and tree make nine," said the Irishman.
"Fair enough," said the boss. "Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99."
The Irishman stared into space for a while, then picked up the picture that he has just drawn and made a smudge on each tree. "Ere you go."

The boss scratched his head and said, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?"
"Each of da trees is dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree. Dat is 99."
The boss was getting worried that he's going to actually have to hire this Irishman, so he said, "All right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the number 100."
The Irishman stared into space some more, then he picked up the picture again and made a little mark at the base of each tree and says, "Ere you go. One hundred."

The boss looked at the attempt. "You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!"
The Irishman leaned forward and pointed to the marks at the base of each tree and said, "A little dog came along and crapped by each tree. So now you got dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, which makes one hundred."
"So, when do I start?"

-END-

And so our name was born on a day when a young Irishman tried to convey (a fairly low score by his standards) of 33 to our friend from Kansas resulting in him asking his Irish friend what the hell Dirty Trees have to do with darts. Now we know. Thank goodness.

PS. We also try to keep with a pact that when a "dirty tree" is scored during a game a shot of Jameson is required. We do a lot of make-up shots on the weekends so feel free to do a shot in our honor if you happen to hit a "dirty tree" or...if you want a shot. Its a pretty loose rule.

2006-05-25T08:21:00.001-07:00

A note from the anonymous founder of the NVID 2006 campaign –

The year was 2004. The location: a notorious Gramercy area bar that shall remain nameless (but it rhymes with 19th Coal). A Tuesday night C league match was in progress. I was a novice to both the game of darts and the inner working of the league, but even I could sense some tension in the air. I cannot recall if it was a missed dart or a game loss… but I do remember hearing a loud swift THUD over towards the dartboard. This was my first experience with Violence in Darts. The victim was, and often still is, a helpless, innocent, minding its own business, wall. And the collateral damage was a broken hand.

Over the next two years I would meet many a “wall puncher”. Each with their own style and their own tipping point. I’ve seen dents in the dart boards, holes in the wall, bleeding knuckles and swollen hands. I’ve heard testimonials from Recovering Wall Punchers and excuses from those who have yet to accept that they indeed suffer from being a Violent Darter. I have watched them carelessly hurl their throwing hands towards an enemy that does not flinch. Seasons have been ruined, egos destroyed, consequences and repercussions have shattered both player and team. Over what? A missed out? A triple on the wrong side of the wire? Or the loss of a game? Yeah – that’s exactly what it was over.

Too many walls have suffered. Too much plaster has been shed (walls don’t bleed ya know! Well most NORMAL walls don’t bleed. Haunted houses aside). Too many a game have been altered due to the uneasy feeling that settles over the team after that fist hits it’s target (usually followed by some sort of expletive).

What can we do to stop this epidemic?

I encourage those of you former and current recovering Wall Punchers (you know who you are) to step up. Shows those scars, tell those stories of your team being really T.O.’D (No. Not the self-centered Eagle) at you for upsetting the flow of the game. Talk of how you started your own recovery and how you can still function sans wall punching.

If you suffer from Wall Punching, now is the time to step forward. “Let the healing Begin”

This is only the first step, but we must start somewhere. Soon we will tackle a more controversial issue in violence in darts. “The rogue dart thrower” and then maybe “The Angry Juke Box Hogger”. Be prepared….

2006-05-18T13:56:00.000-07:00

No Violence In Darts - A World-Wide campaign.

Feel free to use this logo on your own sites. Or print and place on your dart case. Show your allegiance to this important cause. We can do it if we work together.

2006-05-15T13:29:00.000-07:00

Dart Bars and why we love them.

Today’s post will be focusing on a few of the many great dart bars out there that the Trees enjoy throwing at. Goal: encourage others to get out there and visit some good bars.

I would like to start by thanking Frank, a.k.a Cpt. Furious for his mention of our blog on his recent post. The Dartbag blog is truly an inspiration to all and if you have not yet checked it out… please take some time to do so.

Even though we have yet to visit the Dartbags home bar George Keeley’s, I’ve been told that the combination of its friendly and fierce competition and the wide variety of beer available, make it an ideal upper west side location for darts.

First and foremost we must mention the best bar ever to play at: Biddy’s Pub. And even though it’s the bar that has taken us in, the bar we call home, I’m sure it would make the top of the list anyway. It may be small, it may be far away from most other bars, it may have gotten a horrible/great write up in Shecky’s…but Biddy’s manages to make up for these things with its more than friendly bartenders and regulars. Even on the darkest and rainiest of days one should have no problem finding someone worth their salt to challenge them to some games. JJ and Barry are always up to the task and we’d say 99% of the regulars keep a set of darts amongst the liquor behind the bar. We highly recommend you stop by the Dirty Trees home and have a pint.

Now, if you happen to go to Biddy’s on a Friday or Saturday night you may notice a steady crowd of people leaving and returning throughout the night…. Where on earth could they go?...... They are heading over to the Gaf East to say a quick hello to the bartenders and crowd, and probably to get a few games in with some of the city’s toughest players. Gaf East is all business on most days over at the dartboard, so bring your ‘A’ game. We love this bar for its great service, company and beer. We also love it for the practice one can get from the throngs of NYDO’s elite who come there night after night and who are gracious enough to let us poor Trees try to take them on. Thanks Gaf East!

You don’t live on the Upper East Side? What if you want a mix between the small intimate setting of Biddy’s and the feel of the Gaf East? Well then, we must suggest you head over to Hell’s Kitchen and the Gaf West. (They also have a great website). Here Keiron is running the show, (we think) and he is a great host to have when looking for some Midtown drinks and darts. Gaf West is a comfy place to shoot some darts with the regulars (who are just as serious about their games as those who call Gaf East or Biddy’s home).

Too far West for you? Commuter? Went to Tracks and Jack wasn’t there? Well if you are near the Penn Station area, Stout is a great new dart bar to check out. The “Dart Alley” at Stout is located downstairs and is a great smaller setting in one corner of this Giant of a bar. The Beer selection may also be a bit overwhelming with their many Stouts and international beers, but they also provide you with the crowd favorites of Bud, Amstel and Heineken. This bar is starting to catch on with the many players in the city and with 4 boards, plenty of room and some comfy couches down there I’m sure each day will bring more and more players down to the Alley.

We recently played The Tweed Ring down on the Lower East Side at Boss Tweeds Saloon. Friendly Team and Staff (which are basically one in the same on Mondays nights), great happy hour deals (their happy hour extends until 10 pm on Friday nights and 8pm weeknights). 2 boards with a little elbow room make this a good place to throw some darts. If you’re downtown we suggest you head down there and say hello to Matty and Co.

The West Village also offers some noteworthy dart hang-outs. Might we recommend the Kettle of Fish. This Bar always hosts some great teams on Mondays and Tuesdays and with this brings some healthy competition at the boards on the weekends. If you’re in the mood to be a casual observer, Kettle also has some couches in the back for talking shop.

And last but not least we have the one bar in the city hell bent on helping you keep your game face on during those “non league” nights. Seamus over at Flannery’s works very hard at helping us all to our fix with his “Luck of the Draw” nights. During the season he hosts them on Saturdays nights and Wednesday nights in the off-season. The pot (no not the oregano looking kind) is decent, the players all very serious and the mood upbeat (with the occasional wall puncher). A great time to get out and see people from the other teams you may not run into in your hood.

I’m sure we have left out a ton of great bars and we will be adding to the list from time to time, but feel free to let us know if you have any bars you think we should mention.

In conclusion: Why do we love these “dart bars”? Besides the reason to drink during the week, in order to hone your craft, and the obvious fun one can have with the game; I think words of a man named Tom (who some of you may know) may sum it up best:

“Jen…..(brief pause for dramatic effect) I have met some of the BEST people since I started playing.”

Its true. We “dart people” are a fun bunch and getting around the city and meeting us all is great fun. Hope to see some of you around the way.

2006-05-12T06:27:00.000-07:00

Waterloo at Stout

It was a beautiful sunny Sunday as we descended the stairs into Stout's bunker like dart bar area. The usual suspects were in attendance for the registration, most groggy from the early hour (12:30pm). (It was a Sunday after all.)

My partner, Jenny and I signed in with Roger and then started the warm up process with the rest of the participants.

At a little after 1:15pm (punctuality is not a forte of these weekend tourneys), Roger began to give out the rules and formats for the event. If A played A, or B played B, or C played C, the first to 2 wins advanced. If A played B or B played C, the higher league players needed 3 wins before the lower league players won 2. If A played C, the A players needed to win 4 before the C players won 2. First Match will be 501 double in double out followed by Cricket and the format would alternate back and forth from there until a win was decided. A coin toss would decide the order for "bulling up".

After some discussion the first round pairings were announced. First up? "Jack Prilook & Jenny Woodward playing on board 2 versus Tom Lally and Harlan Blaikie" The roar of the crowd going "OOOOOOHHHH" was actually deafening. I kid you not. Mine and Jenny's Hearts dropped as we stopped dead in our tracks. A versus C?! And some of the top rated A players no less! UGH!

Now granted, Jenny and I have both played Tom and Harlan before and have won on several occasions, but never in an official match and never in a tourney. The odds were against us. This would be no holds barred. Tom and Harlan most certainly did NOT want to be eliminated.

The outcome was pretty much determined before we even started. Jenny and I played well but some nerves got into our games and we dropped 4 straight against the A machine. We kinda figured we would lose the Cricket games cause these guys can hit the tripps pretty much at will, but we thought for sure we'd get the 501's and we almost did. Our downfall was not being able to get IN on the first game and not getting OUT quick enough in the 3rd game. We gave them time a plenty, and that my friends is something you do NOT want to give an A Leaguer when playing.

Jenny and I then went and drowned our sorrows in beer under the stares of the rest of the NYDO Monday Night's League.

As Barry S said "Point them into tomorrow. Get in and Get out quick. Show No Mercy!". Sage advice for league play. It's nothing personal. It's just league play. I'll buy you a beer after the round.

Till next time boys and girls. . . .

2006-05-09T10:18:00.000-07:00

We will explain soon. Right now the wound is too deep.

2006-05-03T09:36:00.000-07:00

2006-04-10T13:48:00.000-07:00

Here we are.
In all our glory.